I Don't Fit In...

I don’t have a click.

I don’t have a niche.

I'm not a fitness guru or gym junkie.

I am not a fashion icon.

I don't make posts about Target runs.

I don't have selfies standing in line to get a venti Starbucks.

I don’t get invited to very many events with people.

I didn’t have/do any of these things growing up either.

And for a while, all of these things bothered me.

Growing up, I was painfully shy. I was never one of the popular kids. My parents didn’t have a lot including money. I was picked on in elementary school for various reasons. I hated school. I didn't even try to make great grades because I hated it there so bad.

I grew up in a very legalistic church and was frowned upon because I wore pants. Women wearing pants was taboo.

As I got into high school, my shyness started subsiding a little at a time. I actually loved high school. I got into all honors classes. I joined clubs, was on the yearbook staff, was in the National Honors Society, and was the manager and statistician of the girls softball team. I got nominated for homecoming queen my senior year and was elected most talented for senior superlatives. I graduated not only with honors but was in the top 5 of my class and landed myself enough scholarships to pay for my first couple years of college. But I still never felt like I fit in.

I have always felt like I was trying to find myself. I thought that because I had heard so many people say that about themselves. But truth is, I was never lost. I just had to get my head and my heart finally in agreement with each other to think clearly and be able to see that it's ok if I don't fit in.

That doesn't mean I was lost. I just hadn't found "my place and my people" yet. I have carved my place out slowly but surely. And if we are being honest, there are still days I don't feel like I fit in. And that's okay. Those days are my "me" days where I do what I want to do, when I want to do it and how I want to do it and usually I'm by myself. Those are my recharge days. Those might be the days that I just need to nap and rest and replenish myself because I have finally ran on empty.

Or I might spend an afternoon with my facial paralysis tribe, coaching them and listening to their stories of movement finally or they can close their eye now. To some, that doesn't seem like much but that's a huge deal to us crooked smiles peeps.

So if you are feeling like you don't have a place or the right people, hang in there. You will find it/them. If you feel like you need help with that, let me know. I'd love to help coach you through it.

I don’t have a click.

I don’t have a niche.

Maybe I just don’t need one.

Or maybe I do.

Whichever, I am powered and sent by God…and I would call it the OVERCOMER, the FIGHTER, the SURVIVOR, the let's FIND SOME JOY and the SEE IF I WON’T niche.

Welcome to my niche!!

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